Passing Notes
by bluelily42
Summary: The marauders and their friends pass notes in class.
1. Chapter 1

**I am aware that this has been done before. Lots. But, it's fun to write and I have a few ideas so I'm going to give it a go anyway. I have no idea how long this will go on for or how often it will be updated but it will eventually be a collection of one one-shots about the marauders & friends passing notes.**

**In this fanfic, imagine that, when I say enchanted parchment, they're writing with special parchment. It's kind of like James & Sirius' mirrors I guess. You write your message and whoever your message is for, provided they have a special parchment can read it. This just seems like an easier way to have conversations including lots of people and, considering who this is about, doesn't seem particularly far-fetched.**

**To avoid confusion, when there are a lot of characters talking, because there are only so many different combinations of bold and italics and that can get confusing anyway, I have just put their initials after what they are saying so you can tell who's saying it.**

**And now, after that ridiculously long author's note, the story:**

Divination via Enchanted Parchment

I'm so BORED! - SB

Well, if you paid more attention, you wouldn't be so bored - RL

Yes I would, it's Divination! - SB

He has a point Moony - JP

Could you stop? I'm trying to concentrate! - RL

Yeah, Padfoot! If you distract him, he won't be able to give us his notes! - JP

Just stop. - RL

What are you gonna do about it? Give us detention, Mr Prefect? - SB

I hate you both - RL

Someone's grouchy - SB

Well, apparently my friends only talk to me so I give them my notes from class. - RL

Oh no! Who would do such a thing Moony?! :O - JP

Beats me. - SB

On a more serious note Moony, we don't just like you for the notes - you're also a great help with homework! ;-) - JP

Moony? - JP

Oi! Moony! - JP

Hey! REMUS LUPIN! Stop paying attention to the lesson right this instant and pay attention to us! - SB

I thought you wanted me to listen so you don't have to? - RL

Well, I changed my mind. I'm bored. Let's do something. - SB

I'm almost afraid to ask... - RL

You're no fun anymore Moony! - SB

Yes I am, I would just prefer not to fail this class... - RL

Urrrgh! Who _cares_? Like I said before, it's Divination! - SB

Fine. What do you want? - RL

Yay! Let's plan a prank on the Slytherins! - SB

Ooh! Good idea! - JP

What should we do? - JP

History of magic - normal note passing

That was a nasty prank you pulled on poor Sev earlier. - LE

Come on Lils, he was asking for it! - JP

That's beside the point! It was a horrible thing to do. - LE

But he's a Slytherin! - PP

I hardly see how that justifies it. - LE

Oh, come off it Evans, stop pretending like you're friends! - SB

He _was_ my best friend. - LE

Yeah, until he showed his true colours and you saw him for the slimy git that he is. Trust me Evans, it's no bad thing that you don't talk anymore. - SB

Well, so what if we're not friends? That still doesn't give you the right to be so awful to him! - LE

He gives as good as he gets. - RL

Damn right he does! - SB

Remus, I thought you were better than this! You're supposed to be the most sensible of the marauders! - LE

He is! - JP

Well...the bar isn't exactly high... - RL

Touché - LE

Yeah, being less sensible than us would be a huge achievement! I have yet to meet someone who even comes close. - SB

I think we get it Padfoot. - RL

Hey! How come he's 'Remus'? - JP

Wait a minute... You're right! I am insulted, Evans! - SB

Um...that's his name? Or would you prefer I used those ridiculous nicknames you have for each other? - LE

No, I meant, why is he 'Remus' but we're 'Potter' and 'Black'!? It's quite hurtful! - JP

Well, Remus is my friend. It's weird to call your friends by their surnames. - LE

Are we not friends Evans!? - JP

No. - LE

Why ever not!? - SB

Remus is the only one out of all of you that I actually like. - LE

You don't like me? - PP

Really Wormy? You've not spoken more than two words to each other in the entire time you've known one another. - JP

But what's not to like about me? I'm good looking and smart and charismatic and- - SB

Modest? - RL

...So do you see why I don't like you? - LE

Not really. Sirius, I completely understand, but me? I'm- - JP

Almost as bad as he is. - LE

I AM NOT! - JP

You are - RL

But you _do_ like Remus? - JP

Yes. - LE

Thanks Lily! :-) - RL

How can you like _him_ but not _us_!? - SB

Thanks a lot Pads. :-\ - RL

No prob mate. - SB

It makes sense if you think about it...they're both know-it-alls - PP

Shut up Wormtail. - RL

And I think the word you were looking for was intelligent. - LE

No, that would be me - SB

No, a word to describe you is 'cocky bastard' - LE

Technically that was two words... - SB

... - LE

And you wonder why she doesn't like you... - RL

Oi! - SB

Also, can we talk about how we are currently passing notes in class with none other than the queen of all goody-two-shoes' Miss Lily Evans? - JP

Oh, come off it Potter, it's not like I've never broken any rules. - LE

News to me. - SB

Just because I don't make it a competition to see how many rules I can break like you guys… - LE

Oh yeah, I remember that. That was amazing. - SB

Besides, it's History of Magic, I think we're fine. - LE


	2. Chapter 2

Common room - via enchanted parchment

**Evans**

**Psst! Evans!**

**Oi, Evans! I know you're reading this, so answer me dammit! It's Potter.**

_Potter? What are you doing? Where are you?_

**FINALLY!**

_How are you- Are you using the cloak?_

**Yes Evans. I am using an invisibility cloak to write on your parchment over your shoulder without you noticing.**

**That was sarcasm by the way.**

_Well I'm sorry for that perfectly reasonable explanation, Potter._

**Apology accepted.**

_No! I wasn't- _

**I can imagine you rolling your eyes and huffing at me right now.**

_Creep._

**But you didn't deny that you're doing it.**

**Also, turn around, I'm sitting in the corner so...**

_How _are _you writing this then?_

**You're changing the subject.**

_I am not! Answer the question._

**Ah. Now that would be telling.**

_Potter._

**You're a prefect. How do I know you won't confiscate my genius creation?**

_Remus is a prefect._

**But he's also a marauder.**

_Which is why you so often get away with your pranks. You still haven't answered me Potter!_

**Nothing gets past you I see.**

_Potter. _

**Well, you see - this is a stroke of genius if I do say so myself - we have this enchanted parchment for when we don't want to get caught passing notes in class. We write what we want on it and it appears on the parchment of whoever we're writing to. And you, my dear seem to have somehow gotten your hands on one of the aforementioned pieces of parchment.**

_That's...actually not a stupid idea. _

**Why, thank you-**

_I will remember to congratulate _Remus _on his exemplary spell work. _

**Oi! It was my idea! And we **_**all**_ **cast the spells!**

_Of course it was your idea Potter. Always looking for new ways to break the rules. I should have known. _

**I'll take that as a compliment, Evans. **

_I wouldn't. _

**Well, tough. I do.**

_You're an incorrigible idiot Potter._

_Anyway. Why are you writing notes to me? _

**I have nothing better to do, so I thought, what better use of my time than to spare the love of my life from similar boredom. **

_How noble. _

**I am indeed. **

_Why me though? Does Sirius have better things to do for once? _

**I think you've got your signals crossed Evans. Sirius is my brother, I don't like him like that. **

_You know that's not what I meant. Why don't you go and annoy someone else? _

**Well, Remus is on patrol, Peter is nowhere to be found and Sirius got detention from old Mcgonagall. **

_Didn't she give you detention too? _

**Oh please. Mcgonagall isn't stupid. She learned not to put us in detention together years ago. Mine's tomorrow. **

_I see. _

_But I still don't see how that stops you from annoying him. You have an invisibility cloak, Potter. Not to mention those mirrors, which I must say was rather a good idea. _

**How did you- Why am I even surprised at this point?**

_Do you have anything useful to say? I am trying to get some homework done._

**Aww. But that's so booooring! **

_Nobody asked you to participate. You can go and find something else to do. Go and find Peter. _

**I said 'nowhere to be found', Evans. Doesn't that suggest that I've already looked? Besides, I'd rather spend time with you! **

_Wouldn't someone with an ego such as yours rather spend time with someone who worships the very ground they walk on rather than someone who hates them?_

**Well, I'm flattered Evans, I didn't know you thought of me that way. Yes, I would. **

_I meant Peter. _

**Harsh. **

**Also, don't be so mean to my friends. **

_Why not? You're mean to my friends._

**I am only mean to a certain greasy-haired git, who I believe falls into the category ex-friend anyway.**

_Well he _used to _be my friend and it didn't stop you then did it?_

_And you're mean to Marlene. She's my friend._

**No more than I am to the rest of her house, she's in Slytherin. I am not mean to her purely because of who she is friends with.**

_I'm not mean to _all _of your friends, only the ones that deserve it!_

**Oh no? And who, pray tell, are you civil to?**

_Remus. _

**Oh, fair point.**

**But why are you so mean to Peter? He never did anything to you. **

_Guilty by association. _

**Your logic is flawed...**

_How so? _

**You're not mean to Remus and I would consider him one of my associates. **

_True._

**This conversation is getting dull. **

_Then by all means, leave it. I don't mind._

**Let's talk about something else.**

_Like what? _

**Us.**

_There is no us, Potter._

**Yes there is. The U.S. is a country of 50 states covering most of North America. What did you think I was talking about?**

_It sounds like you got that from Wikipedia. _

**What? **

_Never mind, it's a muggle thing._

**So Evans...go out with me?**

_I knew you were leading up to this. Bugger off, Potter. _

**Why not? Come on, just once, you might enjoy it.**

_I highly doubt that._

_And I just remembered something. _

**What? **

_...I said I'd hex you if you asked me again._

**Um...Evans? **

**What are you-**

...

**Stop laughing at me.**

_No. You look ridiculous_.

**And who's fault is that?**

_I would argue, yours. I did warn you and I have a reputation to uphold you know. _

**As do I and it does not include a pink afro!**

_What's wrong with pink? _

**It's not manly.**

_Nor was the scream_.

**Shut up. You're bloody terrifying and I couldn't tell if you were actually angry or not.**

_Can you tell now? _

**I think not is a safe bet. I figure I'd have come out a lot worse if you had been. **

_Is that a challenge, Potter?_

**NO!**

_Oh, Sirius is back. Go and bother him and leave me in peace._

**Ok, fine. Perhaps, if you don't appreciate my company, you don't deserve the pleasure. So long, Evans!**

_Goodbye, Potter._


	3. Chapter 3

Charms - via enchanted parchment

Hey Evans, want to go to Hogsmeade with me? - JP

If I say yes, will you leave me alone? - LE

Really?! Ok, when? - JP

When hell freezes over. - LE

Ha! She turned you down again mate! - SB

Yes. Thank you Padfoot. - JP

No prob mate. - SB

Well Evans, I said I'd leave you alone if you went out with me and since you're not going to do that, that means I am contractually obligated to pester you until you do. - JP

Ooh. Such big words Potter! Does it hurt your tiny brain? - LE

Rude - JP

Yes Evans! - SB

Some best mate you are... - JP

Just give up Prongs, she's never going to say yes. - SB

Well, thanks for the support and yes, she will. One day, she will fall for my charms and realise that she's loved me all along. - JP

What charms? - LE

Ay! Evans 3, Potter 0! - SB

You tell me Evans, you're the one falling for them. - JP

In your dreams Potter. - LE

Indeed you are, my dear. - JP

Creep. - LE

I am _not_! - JP

Go away. - LE

Common room - via enchanted parchment

Hey guys - SB

Padfoot! You're here! Help, I'm bored! Moony won't talk to me! - JP

There there, Prongs. Moony! What is so important that you would ignore poor Prongsie!? - SB

I am quite busy at the moment Pads. - RL

Well I demand that you become un-busy this instant! - SB

That's not a word. - JP

Shut up. You're supposed to be on my side! - SB

If you two don't mind, I am trying to get some homework done! - RL

Relax Moony, we don't mind - SB

Shut up Padfoot. - RL

My sincerest apologies _Professor_ \- SB

Psh. As if! - RL

Yeah. Moony's not _that_ boring! - JP

Hey! - RL

You never know! - SB

Well, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. - RL

Why not? - SB

No-one in their right mind would let me near their children. - RL

Well, I think you'd make a great teacher Moony! - JP

I appreciate the sentiment Prongs, but whether or not I'm good enough doesn't really matter for someone like me. - RL

... - JP

... - SB

... - RL

It's not bloody fair. - SB

No, it isn't. - RL

Damn right it's not! You're the smartest person in our year, you should be able to do whatever you want! - JP

Thanks, guys, I appreciate it, but unfortunately no matter how unjust the system is, it's never going to change. - RL

I thought you wanted to be an auror anyway? - SB

Oh please. You know what the Ministry's like. They're not exactly renowned for their equality. There's not a chance in hell they'd ever consider me. We all know that it will be next to impossible for me to get _any_ sort of job when we leave here. - RL

What will you do then? - SB

I don't know, I'll work something out. Don't worry about me Padfoot. - RL

You know, it it ever comes to it, you'll always have a place with me mate. My family's rich, I can support you if need be. - JP

Thanks James, but I don't want to live off of you for my whole life. - RL

I know, it's just... We're your friends Moony. We're not just going to abandon you as soon as we leave here. If you ever need me, I'll be there. - JP

I second that, although unlike James, I have no family fortune to inherit... - SB

I know. Thanks guys...I appreciate it. - RL


End file.
